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No one was more excited to watch this pilgrim folklore of a tale than me. I must admit that my expectation for the film ran really high and that is not always a good thing or you run the risk of ending up disappointed. Lets just say than no witchcraft or spell can remove the bad taste this movie left in my mouth.

In 1630 New England, panic and despair envelops a farmer (Ralph Ineson), his wife (Kate Dickie) and four of their children when youngest son Samuel suddenly vanishes. The family blames Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), the oldest daughter who was watching the boy at the time of his disappearance. With suspicion and paranoia mounting, twin siblings Mercy (Ellie Grainger) and Jonas (Lucas Dawson) suspect Thomasin of witchcraft, testing the clan’s faith, loyalty and love to one another.

The film is based around a family that, after exile, finds a remote area where to star their new life. The religious kinfolks do nothing but preach the word of God and then lie, hate and judge each other like hypocrites. For a movie titled “The Witch, I was expecting to see, well, witches. In the entire movie we came across one, maybe two witches. I couldn’t tell because there was no reference to them other that a mentioned here and there. I guess you can count the 5 or six naked bodies at the end on the film as witches but in reality it appeared to be more of a cult than a coven.

The feel of the movie was that of dark and despair which is all this movie has going for it. There’s not much to say about the scenery other than there’s a house and a forest behind it. I know this sounds plain but that is all you see here. The acting was also a breath of fresh air. Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin stole the show in my opinion. The other actors also did a pretty good job, all things considered.

The Witch is full of ambiguities. The word of God, the Devil, Family ties, etc. “Did ye make some unholy bond with that goat!?” Yes, that was said on the film.

No wonder this movie is getting good reviews around the net.  Do you recall the last time a GOOD horror movie received such a buzz from critics?  I will tell you; NEVER… The reason for such hype is because this film was not scary AT ALL, not one bit. Of course critics are going all gugu gaga for this. They will find the most boring and unscary (I know that’s not a word) movie out there and dissect it and somehow make you believe that it is the most scary movie they have ever seen. A horror movie should evoke some sort of fear or tension from the moviegoer, a passive film that relies solely on visual ascetic doesn’t cut it this day and age. The film’s got to be more than that, if it is going to be classified as Horror. How this movie won so many Sundance movie awards? It blows my mind.

The film was directed by Robert Eggers but felt more like it was directed by Rob Zombie. If you listen to our podcast then you know what I am talking about.

Whatever the case might be, I can tell you that the film was, for lack of better words, extremely boring. The movie, which relies heavily on the dialect, was very hard too understand at times. I do understand that the idiom was taken from 17th century documents but it really made the movie hard to follow. I don’t say this often but this is a movie that if you really want to see it, rent it when it comes out on video or digital copy. The Witch brings nothing new to the Horror genre but if you are looking for a decent Indie Drama, The Witch might tickle your fancy.

The Witch

DIRECTOR: Robert Egger
STUDIO: A24
GENRE: Horror
MPAA: R
RELEASE DATE: February 19, 2016
Raymond Melendez

Raymond Melendez is a multi-talented aficionado of all things entertainment. As the force behind sdmetal.com, MovieFloss, and BeerAlien, he dives into the worlds of heavy metal, film, and craft beer with equal enthusiasm. With his finger on the pulse of these industries, Raymond shares his insights, reviews, and discoveries, making him a go-to source for fans and enthusiasts alike.

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